Let me tell you when Amanda sent this over to me, I started to cry reading it. Allowing someone in at one of your most intimate times can be one of the scariest things you can every do and Amanda trusted me!
Hello, I'm Amanda, and I want to share my journey and why I embraced boudoir photography. Many of us battle self-esteem issues, and boudoir photography is a way to celebrate yourself. It's not a solution to life's problems but a luxury experience that allows you to see yourself differently and feel the positivity.
To really know a person’s why, you have to go back to the beginning right?
My story begins with low self-esteem and unhealthy relationships. I used to think I was not attractive enough, and I turned to using physical relationships to feel better about myself. It wasn't until later that I decided to take control of my life.
After facing the loss of my parents and battling anxiety, I decided to take a break from work and met someone new. When that relationship ended abruptly, I went through a period of depression but eventually decided to focus on myself. I embarked on a journey of self-love and body transformation.
By the time I had my first shoot I had lost fourteen pounds and some of my biscuits. Was I still self conscious and wanted to hide myself at times in between poses? Yes but with Ashlee and Morgan it’s impossible not to believe them when they yell “look at the booty!” and cheer you on. Did my confidence grow more each time? Hell yeah! I eventually forgot the insecurities that crept up on me and started having fun.
My second shoot was a month later and we had a blast planning it and during the shoot. Ashlee goes above and beyond when turning ideas into a studio reality. I have been told that I am extra, and have given her plenty of “extra” ideas of what I want. I told her I wanted a Stoner Sugar Momma theme and she delivered! My glow up game was on fire by the time this shoot rolled around. Not only was I more confident in myself but in my posing. Sure I still had biscuits but I knew I looked damn good in what I was wearing. Did I hate parts of my body in some of the images? Absolutely, but I was able to see minor changes from the month before and felt good about that.
Now we are post shoot number three and Ashlee didn’t hold back this time! She even pulled out a pose that was on my boudie bucket list. Not only did that show how far I have come in improving my body but it shows Ashlee how far she has come on this journey with me in her role as a photographer. Number three was Tantalizing Tarot and not only did Ashlee not hold back, I gave her an “extra” sized pose idea. It was more of an “I WANT THIS POSE”. While the image wasn’t exactly what I wanted, it’s one of my favorites from all of my shoots!
So you may be wondering where in my personal journey I am finding myself at the moment. Good question. Can I look in the mirror and not hate who I see? Absolutely. Have I decided to not let the BS of the last two years and counting hold me back from enjoying little self luxuries?Absolutely. Will I have more photo shoots? Already have three booked for next year! Will I remain a crazy cat lady? I SERIOUSLY hope not.
If you want to know how it turns out, let us know!
